An offer she couldn’t refuse – How Carolyn became a Surrogate

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Excerpt from, “The Surrogates” by Consuella Harris.

“I felt dead inside; it seemed that someone was always asking something of me which required me to give up a piece of myself.  I hated Charles with every fiber of my soul for placing me in a position where I couldn’t refuse him this monumental invasion of my life.  Over the last four years, since I had moved to Washington, D. C. I had begun to build a happy and successful life.  I belonged to a local church and had friends I enjoyed.  My children had become well-adjusted, happy and were doing exceptionally well in school, I knew this new life which I loved was due to Charles and all the help he had given my family and me, but paying the debt was almost killing me.  There were so many lies we had to tell, I wasn’t sure I’d remember them all. At work, I had told everyone I had to take a year’s sabbatical due to poor health.  To all my co-workers I was going home to Cleveland to recuperate and build my strength up.  My friends and church associates were told the same lie; no one could be in direct contact with me, only through my mother.  What was most infuriating for me was to read the papers before leaving Washington and see Charles’ wife had announced her pregnancy, however, due to her delicate health, she would be in seclusion until after the birth of the child.  It galled me to think that in 1971, I was carrying a child for a White woman and a Black man.  Something ironic and sinister surrounded the entire ordeal; it felt like enslavement.  In spite of my feelings, I was not a whiner, so I would make the best of the situation and fulfill my part of the bargain knowing that with this payment, the debt was paid in full.”

Read more about Carolyn and the other Surrogates

http://consuellaharris.comThe-Surrogates-3d

Invitation for Dialogue with others re: The Surrogates

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I recently wrote a book entitled, The Surrogates, I didn’t consider myself an expert on the subject of surrogacy, however, the subject intrigued me.  Oftentimes, we adults make decisions that have impact on our children without giving careful consideration to the long-term effects on the children.

Surrogacy is similar to adoptions relative to the adoptive parents (or one Parent) who may not be the biological parent.  Therefore, the decision of whether to tell the children about their biological parent and the circumstances of their birth should be a major factor.  Should the surrogate become  a friend or known toThe-Surrogates-3dphoto-1.jpg the children?

This is a practice that is increasing in our society as a viable child bearing alternative and I’d like to encourage non-judgmental dialogue which I hope will help people considering this alternative.  My book, The Surrogates may spark conversation.

Consuella Harris

http://consuellaharris.com

The Surrogates by Consuella Harris

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I was given the fantastic opportunity of getting my book published in June of this year, The Surrogates.  Once the book was published I began spending all my time learning how to market the book.

Today, I’d like to express what was most important to me when I conceived this book. I personally felt that Surrogacy was a very important matter  In a non-judgmental way, we need to think about what this alternative child-bearing practice means.  There will be people who for selfish or reasons of finance will pursue this option.  However, what was the most important thing to me was to emphasize traumatic events can occur to the children if this option isn’t taken with care.

Since the child-bearing option in a surrogate mother isn’t the result of a “whoops occurrence,” careful consideration should be given to bringing a child into the world in this fashion.  Can the Surrogate be an integral part of the child’s life?  What happens if in the process of a Surrogate’s pregnancy, the prospective parent’s marriage flounders, what happens to the child?  Do prospective parents have the right to maintain secrecy about the child’s birth?  We’ve learned through adoptions that ultimately children will seek out answers, therefore, a proactive approach with the child’s interest long-term could be beneficial.

To the Surrogates, financial reasons alone shouldn’t be the only motivation, after all a life is in the balance.  Are you willing and want to interact with the prospective family?  Are you willing to give of yourself, to share yourself with the child you conceive? As with all major steps in our lives, there are no simple answers, however, my hope is that careful consideration is given before this major undertaking.

Lastly, I don’t know why this topic was placed on my heart to share in a book.  The subject intrigued me forty years earlier, and I began writing this book that took me forty years to finish and get published.  Over those years, I experienced divorce, a career, grandchildren, cancer, retirement, etc., and the subject persisted.  Perhaps, my purpose was only to be “a voice in the wilderness” only to encourage open non-judgmental discussion and understanding.  Surrogate parenting will continue to grow, the more we give it thought and careful consideration, the more we will all be prepared in the future.

My book is a fictional story about surrogacy and portrays irrevocable complications, resulting in murder.: The Surrogates, http://consuellaharris.com

Inspiration

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I was given the fantastic opportunity of having a book published in June of this year, The Surrogates..  Once the book was published I began spending all my time learning how to market the book.

Today, I’d like to express what was most important to me when I conceived this book. I personally felt that Surrogacy was a very important matter.  In a non-judgmental way, we need to think about what this alternative child bearing practice means.  There will be people who from selfish or reasons of finance will pursue this option.  However, what was the most important thing to me was to emphasize, traumatic events can occur to the children if this option isn’t taken with care.

Since the child bearing option in a surrogate mother isn’t the result of a “Whoops, occurrence” careful consideration should be given to bringing a child into the world in this fashion.  Can the Surrogate be an integral part of the child’s life?  What happens, if in the process of a Surrogate’s pregnancy, the prospective couple’s marriage flounders, what happens to the child?  Do prospective parents have the right to maintain secrecy about the child’s birth?  We’ve learned through adoptions that ultimately children will seek out answers, a proactive approach with the child’s interest long-term could be beneficial.

To the Surrogates, financial reasons alone shouldn’t be the only motivation; a life is in the balance.  Are you willing and want to interact with the prospective family.  Are you willing to give of yourself, to share you with the child you conceive.  As with all major steps in our lives, there are no simple answers, however, my hope is that careful consideration is given before this major undertaking.

Lastly, I don’t know why this topic was placed on my heart to share in a book.  The subject intrigued me forty years earlier, and I began writing a book that took me forty years to finish and get published.  Over those years, I experienced divorce, a career, grandchildren, cancer, retirement, etc., and the subject still interested me.  Perhaps my purpose was only to be ‘a voice in the wilderness’ to encourage open non-judgmental discussion and understanding.  Surrogate parenting will continue to grow, the more we give it thought and careful consideration the more we will all be prepared.  My book is a fictional story about surrogacy: The Surrogates, http://consuellaharris.com

The potential problems children of Surrogates face

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Two stories that have been in the press is Sherri Shepherd and her husband together desiring to have a child by a surrogate, yet, after a divorce Sherri is denying any parental responsibility for the child.

Another story is a same sex couple who received the wrong sperm from a sperm donor and mistakenly they received an African American child.  Two years later, publicly they are suing because in spite of loving the daughter, she wasn’t what they signed up for; and it’s difficult for the child to live in the predominately White environment where they currently reside.

My issue is, how will these children feel when they become aware of parents disowning or not wanting them?

In my book, The Surrogates, I wanted to write a fictional story which emphasized that surrogacy should be carefully thought out because ultimately the children will pay in the end.

Consuella Harris

The Surrogates, http://consuellaharris.com